Three Different Types Of Monster

(My husband works nights, and is often extremely tired during the day, but he sleeps very erratically, so it’s hard to plan his eating schedule. I try to help him. Today, he has requested that I wake him up around 6:30 pm so he can eat. Also important to note, he can be very difficult to wake up and has a tendency to sleep-talk.)

Me: “Honey, it’s 6:45, and you said you wanted me to wake you up so you could eat.”

Husband: *eyes half-open* “No, there’s three different types.”

Me: “Of what?”

Husband: *sitting up, starts counting off our pillows, although we only have two* “No, there’s one, two… three…”

Me: “Three of what? What are you talking about?”

(He starts pulling back each of the pillow cases to inspect each pillow, getting more confused each time he goes back and forth from one to the other. I’m trying to suppress giggles. At this point, he is fully sitting up, moving around, with his eyes totally open, and speaking clearly. All signs of being awake. I’m expecting him to snap out of his confusion at any moment.)

Husband: *saying each word as he pulls back each pillow case* “No… There’s three… different… types…”

Me: *trying not to die of laughter* “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m talking about you eating food.”

Husband: “No! They’re for the… for the monster.” *looking very concerned, and again eyeing the pillows very suspiciously*

Me: *not even trying to stop laughing* “You know what? Just go back to sleep.”

(I gave him a slight push, and he promptly collapsed backwards onto his pillow and fell right back asleep.)