This Method Is Fairy Effective

(My coworker routinely screens outside calls to weed out cold-call salesmen.)

Coworker: “Thanks for calling our company. This is [Coworker]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “I would like to speak to [My Name].”

Coworker: “May I ask who’s calling?”

Caller: “This is [Caller].”

(Neither of us recognizes the name or voice.)

Coworker: “May I ask what the call is in reference to?”

Caller: “No. It is a personal call and I need to speak to [My Name] directly.”

(He puts her on mute and asks if I want to take the call; I don’t.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But I will need to know the nature of the call.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not telling you! I need to speak directly with [My Name]!”

Coworker: “If you don’t give me the reason for your call I won’t be able to put you through.”

Caller: *yelling* “WHAT ARE YOU? THE PHONE FAIRY?!”

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am. I even have little fairy wings on my back.”

Caller: *click*