This Is Where Paper Delivery Gets Serious

Recently, I started getting complaints about the paper route that I work. I work a paper round for extra income since I’m not sixteen yet (I’m fifteen), and legally in the UK, I cannot get a proper job. I’ve had it for two years.

About two months ago or so, I got a new house on the route, and this couple has been nothing but a pain. Not only is it out of the way of my route — so pretty much a hassle to get to — but they have to be very rude, too. Lately, my boss has been forgetting to put magazines into the papers, and they’ve constantly been complaining, resulting in me getting reprimanded. That in itself isn’t bad, but they’ve yelled at me for not closing their gate properly, getting too close to their doorbell camera, and waving at their child from the window in the morning — all small things that led to this malicious compliance.

Five weeks ago, however, they were still complaining about getting no magazine, despite me making sure before I delivered that it went through, and I was getting tired.

The next time I deliver their papers, I knock. Bear in mind that I have to get these papers delivered quickly, so it is 6:00 am. However, I knock and knock until the wife opens the door, half asleep and looking agitated.

Wife: “What the h*** do you want?”

I look at her, fake-stunned as if I don’t know what I’m doing.

Me: “I’m just delivering the magazine for you like you asked.”

At this moment, she knows she can’t complain because one, her doorbell camera has caught it all, and two, I am physically handing it to her this time — undeniable proof.

For the next upcoming weeks, I knock until they answered the door every morning, making sure to knock extra loud.

One morning, however, the husband answers the door, and he looks defeated.

Husband: “We get it. We’re sorry about the complaints. Please stop knocking so early and just get the paper through the door.”

After that long route, nothing felt more satisfactory than the sweet taste of malicious compliance. I may be underpaid, but it was all worth it to see that face.