The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 10

(I am speaking with my long-distance boyfriend via webcam about my ‘people-I-want-dead’ list.)

Me: “There are only two people on it.”

Boyfriend: “You’re missing one.”

Me: “Who?”

Boyfriend: “Me.” *singing* “The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them!”

Me: “You’re right, I want to kill you out of love. Know what we should do? Have a battle to the death! To find out which one of us loves the other more!”

Boyfriend: “How does that work?”

Me: “Easy. The one who kills the other is the one that loves the other the most. For example: if you kill me, that means you love me more than I love you!”

Boyfriend: “But then I would be sad!”

Me: “Yeah, love only brings heartache.”