That’s Some Weird Logic You Got There, Buddy

When I worked in Emergency Medical Services, I had a male patient who got stabbed in between his butt cheeks.

Me: “Sir, we’re going to have to take your pants off so we can bandage the wound and keep you from bleeding any further.”

Patient: *Screaming* “I don’t want no female putting anything near my behind! That’s gay!”

Me: “You don’t have a choice. Either we patch you up or we let you bleed out enough that you pass out and we do it anyway.”

What made this comical was that if he had worn his pants properly on his waist, the knife wouldn’t have been able to get so far between his cheeks and he would only have had a scratch.