That’s One Lottery You’re Not Gonna Win

I worked graveyards at a convenience store. One night, a guy came in and snatched the top couple of rows of $5 scratch tickets out of the counter display while the clerk’s back was turned.

We called the police.

Dispatcher: “We’ll send someone, but it might be a while.”

We called them back half an hour later.

Me: “We just wanted to let you know that our thief is at the lotto self-check machine and wants to cash in his winnings.”

He seemed surprised when the police surrounded him at the lotto machine five minutes later.