Always Right, Even When Calling The Wrong Store

, , | Right | December 10, 2007

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store #1]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Lumber, please.”

Me: “Sir, we do not have a lumber department.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I was just in there and I bought four boxes of roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, I think you have us mistaken for [Store #2].”

Customer: “Don’t correct me. I know where I just left from buying roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, we do not now nor have we ever sold roof shingles.”

Customer: “I have my receipt right here. It says [Store #2].”

Me: “That’s fine sir, but this is [Store #1], not [Store #2].”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

(After another 30 minutes of arguing with my manager we just transferred him to hardware so he could yell at them for not selling shingles.)

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Misplaced Responsibility

| Right | December 9, 2007

Customer: “Do you guys do price matching?”

Me: “Yes we do.”

Customer: “Ok, well Wal-Mart has this vacuum on sale for $27.99 and you have it on for $34.99. Will you match that?”

Me: “Yes, that’s no problem. I just need to see a copy of the Wal-Mart flyer with that vacuum.”

Customer: “You don’t have the flyer?”

Me: “…No. We don’t carry Wal-Mart’s flyer.”

Customer: “You want me to drive all the way home to get Wal-Mart’s flyer and come all the way back here? Are you sure you don’t have it here?”

Me: “No, we don’t have Wal-Mart’s flyer.”

Customer: (angrily) “Well, you SHOULD! Jesus Christ, do I have to do everything?”

(Customer mutters and walks away.)

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The Proud And Stupid

, | Right | December 7, 2007

(This one came from my manager. A customer called Target and asked about a jacket that was on sale.)

Customer (very snooty): “Hello, I would like to know if you have any Corbin Wells jackets in stock.”

My Manager: “Corbin Wells? I don’t think we sell that brand.”

Customer (getting angry): “Well, it’s on page 10 in your ad!”

My Manager: “Let me see.” *she turns to page 10* “Ma’am, page 10 is electronics.”

Customer (extremely angry): “You DO have the ad in front of you, don’t you?”

My manager: “Yes, I have the TARGET ad in front of me.”

Customer: “Oh, Target? That’s not the ad I’m looking at.”

My manager: “What ad are you looking at, ma’am?”

Customer (still snooty): “Kohl’s.” *click*

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On The Need For Consumer IQ Requirements

| Right | December 7, 2007

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this gas cooker…”

Me: “Sure, what’s the problem with it, madam?”

Customer: “The picture on the front of the box shows meat, although when I opened the box there was no meat inside…”

Me: *In astonishment* “Okay, I’ll just go and get my manager…”

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Like, Oh My God!

| Right | December 6, 2007

College Girl #1: “Our friend is registered here, but we can’t find her name on the computer.”

College Girl #2: “Yeah, it’s broken.”

College Girl #1: “She’s like one of our best friends and we need to get her a present.”

College Girl #2: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, okay, well let’s try it again.”

(We walk over to the gift registry kiosk.)

Me: “So is your friend registered for a wedding or baby shower?”

(The two girls look at each other confused.)

College Girl #2: “…Wedding?”

Me: “Okay…what’s her first name?”

College Girl #1: “Sarah…”

Me: “Is that with an ‘h’ at the end, or is it just S-A-R-A?”

(The two girls look at each other confused.)

Me: “Okay, well the computer can search using the first two letters of the first name, so we’ll just put in S-A. And what is her last name?”

College Girl #1: *says something unintelligible that sounds like “Pheuyben”*

Me: “And how do you spell it?”

(The girls look at each other confused.)

College Girl #2: “Um…”

College Girl #1: “Uh…”

Me: “Does it start with an ‘f’ or a ‘p-h’?”

College Girl #1: “P-h.”

College Girl #2: “F.”

(The girls look at each other confused.)

(Oh. My. God. If I had “best friends” like that I’d swallow some Drano.)

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