(A woman and her son approach my counter, which is currently surrounded by other customers waiting patiently during the start of the busy holiday season.)

Woman: *pushing past everyone else* “Do you have [six-year-old game]?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid we don’t. I can double check our website after I finish with this gentleman to see if it available online.”

Woman: “God-d*** it! This is why I don’t shop here. You’re all lazy f***s! Won’t even go look for one simple f****** game!”

Me: “Do you have paprika in your kitchen?”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Do you have paprika?”

Woman: “What the f—”

Me: “You see, you know the answer because you take care of your kitchen. You stock your kitchen. You clean your kitchen. You own your kitchen. It is the same here for me and our video games. I know we don’t have it because I haven’t stocked it. In addition, [Game] came out a year before our store opened. I offered to look it up on our website, which would also tell us if a nearby [Chain] store has it in stock; if you don’t want me to do so, a simple ‘no thanks’ would suffice.”

Woman: *as she storms off* “F*** YOU!”

(Her antics turned the calm queue into a shoving match to get in front of the line since ‘she got help before everyone else.’)

(I’m pretty grouchy in the mornings, but I don’t like to ruin others’ day, so when I need to interact with people I make a point of psyching myself up and putting on a cheery grin. This happened last time I did that.)

Me: “Good morning!”

Clerk: “No such thing.”

Me: “I’d like to get these rotary blades sharpened.”

Clerk: *sigh* “It just got worse. If they’re chipped we won’t do them. You can pick them up tomorrow because I’m NOT dealing with them during store hours.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

(The mood dissonance was so big I couldn’t stop laughing after I left. She was a lot happier when I went back the next day; I guess I caught her on a bad one.)

(We have a door at work that is kept locked by a magnetic lock, so it can’t be forced open. At the entrance is a sign advising people “ring the door-bell.” However most people new to the building seems to think the sign reads, “Pull as hard as you can”… to the point where they’ve actually warped the door a bit.)

Door: “Ring ring!”

New Person: *yanks door as hard as he can*

Me: “Hold on!”

New Person: *keeps yanking door repeatedly*

Me: “I’m coming!” *gets to door and opens it*

New Person: “I’m here to work on [item whatever].”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get the supervisor.”

New Person: “By the way that door’s a bit warped.”

Me: “…”

(I work for a popular clothing retail company. Our register area has sensors on them that beep constantly when an item is near it that still has a security tag attached. While annoying, it pales in comparison to the non-stop comments from other customers.)

Customer: “What is that sound?”

Coworker: *explains what the beeping is*

Customer: *suddenly upset* “That’s so insensitive to the customer! We shouldn’t have to listen to that! It’s horrible customer service!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, the beeping keeps us from forgetting to take any sensors off. I know it can be annoying, but it’s so we can provide the best customer service for you.”

Customer: “No, it’s bad customer service! I demand you turn it off now!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. We can’t do that. There’s no switch to turn it off.”

Customer: “Then break it!”

(We refused to do that as well. The customer paid and walked out in a huff, promising to never shop with us again. I sure hope she’s a woman of her word.)

(I have recurring pain that will come and go. I always carry a folding cane and medication with me. I’m outside the store when pain starts up and I grab a nearby wall to lean on and take a pill. After a little rest I get my cane and continue walking and go up the few steps of the store with difficulty.)

Cashier: “Are you okay?

Me: “Yeah. Just some pain. I can manage.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

(I’m much better in the middle of shopping so I put my cane away and continue walking like normal. I then go to that cashier, there’s no one else there.)

Cashier: “I thought you were a cripple!”

Me: “What? No, my leg is just painful sometimes.”

Cashier: “That makes no sense. You can either walk or can’t walk.”

Me: “Have you ever had any pain?”

Cashier: “Sure, but takes a while to recover not 15 minutes! And you walk completely fine now, not even a limp. Why did you fake pain earlier or at least greatly exaggerated it?”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Why?”

(I silently show her my medicine bottle.)

Cashier: “That could be for anything or you’re just addicted.”

Me: “I don’t think you have any say in my medical diagnosis and treatment or mental well-being. Please just continue this transaction.”

Cashier: “Fine, but you need psychological help.”

Me: *sighs*