(I work from home selling crafty items that I make. My business phone number is available for custom requests and linked to a cell phone. I get a phone call from a private number. This is always suspicious to me but I answer anyway.)
Me: “Hello, this is [Business]. [My Name] speaking!”
(There’s an incoherent screech reminiscent of a three-year-old who has learned how high-pitched they can make their voice and a thumping that sounds like stomping feet. I assume that a very young child is playing with the phone and hang up. The phone rings again.)
Customer: “How dare you hang up on me! I ordered a pizza and it hasn’t arrived yet!”
Me: “I’m afraid you have the wrong number, ma’am.”
Customer: “Bull-s***! This is [number not even remotely like mine] and I ordered a pizza from you!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I don’t make food items.” *she tries to interrupt me, but I keep going* “Thank you and goodbye.” *click*
(The phone rings again and when I answer she is screaming incoherently again. I hang up. She calls again, and I pick it up and immediately hang it up as the first note of her voice comes over the receiver. The next time I pick up the phone and just hold it in the air, letting her vent full volume into space. I get bored and watch the clock. It eventually goes quiet after about five minutes of screaming and ranting with no response whatsoever from me. Eventually she catches on that something isn’t right.)
Customer: “Hello…?”
Me: “Good. Afternoon. You. Have. Called. [Business]. We do NOT serve pizzas!”
Customer: “…” *click*
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