(I’m about three and it’s my first time riding a horse. The only other types of horses I’ve ridden are the carousel horses at fairs.)
Mom: “How are you doing, sweetie?”
Me: “Where’s the music?”
Mom: “What?”
Me: “The other horses at the fairs play music. Why won’t this one?!”
This story is part of our Horse roundup!
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Read the Horse roundup!
Five-year-old sister: “Do you think I’m pretty?”
Older sister: “Of course I do!”
Five-year-old sister: “Good. Because if you said no, I was going to smack you up!”
(My daughter has gotten jelly babies from her aunt earlier, and is trying to find them. My husband asks my other daughter and 3 year old son.)
Daughter: “Daddy, I cant find my bag of jelly babies.”
Husband: “Has anyone seen her jelly babies?”
Son: “Yes. I put them away.”
Husband: “There you go. Son, where did you put them?”
Son: *pointing to his mouth* “In here.”
(My wife and I are wrestling on the couch, and I pin her down.)
Wife: “When I evolve, I’m going to kill you.”
Me: “What are you, a Magikarp?”
Wife: “Meowth to Persian, go!”
(As she says this, she pushes me off and tries to pin me.)
Me: “You’re such a nerd… I love you.”
(She then tells me that I had better not put this on NotAlwaysRomantic.)
(We’re in bed, trying to get to sleep, and my girlfriend rolls over and gets tangled in the blankets. She struggles for a bit, then decides it’s too much effort and just flops face down on the pillows.)
Me: “You’re cute.”
Girlfriend: “I’m useless.”
Me: “Cute like a panda. They’re pretty helpless.”
Girlfriend: “They can’t even be bothered to mate.”
Me: “Cute like an evolutionary cul-de-sac.”
Girlfriend: *giggling* “You say the sweetest things.”
