Tests Can Make You Testy

| OR, USA | Learning | June 10, 2013

(My teacher is notorious for difficult tests.)

Teacher: “All right, we’re going to start with a pop quizzie.”

(The students stare at the complex “quiz.”)

Classmate: “Wow, if this is a quizzie, I’d hate to see your testes.”

Let’s Keep This In The Dark

| WI, USA | Learning | June 9, 2013

(In my drawing class, my teacher writes a warm up on the board every day for us to do before class starts. The warm up today is “Draw your favorite color without using color.”)

Student #1: “How in the world do you draw black?”

Teacher: “Well, you could draw a shadow or a bat.”

Student #2: “Or my soul.”

Teacher: “…Or you could draw [Student #2’s] soul.”

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Men Can Be Wingle-Minded

| Massachusetts, VT, USA | Learning | June 8, 2013

(While doing a unit on genetics, my students ask me questions about fruit flies because they know I worked in a fly lab before.)

Student: “Do you like male or female fruit flies better?”

Me: “Males are a little easier to work with.”

Student: “Is that because they only think with their wings?”

Somebody’s Got A Chip On Their Shoulder

| Ontario, Canada | Learning | June 8, 2013

(Me and my friends are fooling around with a bag of chocolate chips during lunchtime. As a joke, I stick one to my face.)

Me: “Hey guys, check it out!”

(After everyone sees and laughs I decide to take it off my face and eat it without realising I’m being watched.)

Outraged Teacher: “Did you just eat your mole?!”

Security Insecurities

| FL, USA | Learning | June 7, 2013

(The head librarian is showing us how to look up someone’s account if the student doesn’t have their ID in order to check out books.)

Head Librarian: “Okay, so with me so far? At this screen you enter this access code [code] and voila! Now this works for students, teachers and even administrators, so you can check things out to anyone.”

My Friend: “What if they want to pay their late fees?”

Head Librarian: “Oh, you can find all that on this screen. See? You have access to all the student’s information: library records, late fees, grades, address, social security number, whatever you need!”

(My friend turns to look at me with a surprised and slightly horrified look. I immediately turn to the head librarian.)

Me: “Uh, did you just show us, two underage students, how to get anyone’s name, address, and social security number? And this anyone includes all the students, teachers, and faculty members?”

(The head librarian turns to me as her jaw drops.)

Head Librarian: “I… should not have done that. You two go dust or shelve something. I’m going to change my access code now.”

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