(Milk is subsidized in my state so we don’t offer cash refunds or exchanges unless the product is spoiled or damaged. One man has been exchanging half-empty milk every week for six months claiming each time that the container is leaking. He does it with different clerks and it takes a while before everyone realizes he’s scamming us. As manager, I ask my clerks to let me know if they see him come in so I can talk to him.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this milk.”

Me: “Sure, we can certainly do that. Man, you have some rotten luck!”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, you just always seem to have leaky milks. Looking at how little is remaining, it must have really made a mess in your fridge!”

Customer: “Oh. Yeah.”

Me: “Wow, going through a milk every week? I wonder if [Milk Company] knows they have so many leaky containers. I should track this and notify them.”

Customer: *nervously* “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Me: “Oh. Well, a leaky gallon every week for six months? That’s unacceptable. Maybe you should try another brand? You know, [Milk Company]’s headquarters are just one town over. I could just call them and have them inspect this.”

Customer: *alarmed* “Oh, no, no! It’s fine. I’m all set.”

Me: “Are you sure? Hey, why don’t we go pick out a gallon together. That way we’ll KNOW it isn’t leaking?”

Customer: “Oh, uhhh. I’m sure I won’t have any problems anymore.”

Me: “I really appreciate you letting us know there is an issue with their packaging. I’ll be sure to keep an extra close eye on your milk from now on.”

(The customer leaves in a hurry and we never see him again!)

(I am a 17-year-old high school student in the supermarket after school. I am in my uniform buying some study snacks to take home. I’m wandering down the chips and confectionary aisle, when another customer approaches me.)

Customer #1: “Why is your dress so short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(My dress is about two inches above my knee, and I’m 5’7″ tall.)

Customer #1: “Girls should be wearing longer dresses!”

(The customer then lunges for my dress, attempting to pull it down. Another customer sees and then intervenes.)

Customer #2: “Geez, leave her alone.”

(The first customer begins walking off but not before leaving me with this little gem:)

Customer #1: “She’ll be pregnant before the year is out unless she gets a longer dress.”

(I am grocery shopping with my two young sons.)

Cashier: “Your kids are so cute!”

Me: “Thank you.”

Cashier: “Two boys right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “So when are you going to try for a girl?”

Me: *shrugging* “We think we’re done.”

Cashier: “Too bad. You really need a girl.”

(Today is a busy weekend. I’m working checkout and there is a huge line waiting. In the middle of one of my transactions, a woman cuts everyone in line. The people in line are visibly agitated but just let it go.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I cannot check you out. These customers have been waiting in line patiently for their turn. Please go wait like everyone else.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry. Please, can you make an exception just this once?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it just wouldn’t be fair for everyone else in line. Please wait for your turn.”

(After I say this, the customer’s mood quickly swings from a cheery to angry.)

Customer: “This store should treat their customers better! I’m giving them all my hard earned money. You know what? F*** this place and everyone here! You people are f******* idiots! I’m going to shop at [Competitor]!” *storms out without her items*

(As she turns her back and storms off, almost everyone in line, and even some people in other lines, flip her off in unison.)

(At my grocery store, there’s this guy who is always friendly. It’s like watching poetry in motion. I once saw him deal with 10 customer questions back to back, with this huge, genuine smile on his face. Every time he sees me, he tells me to have a wonderful day. He greets everyone with something exuberant. He knows where everything is and manages to make you feel good about not knowing yourself.)

Customer: “Do you have anymore Irish cream?”

Employee: “I’m not sure let me check the back.”

(The employee leaves and returns.)

Employee: “I am deeply sorry; we only carry that in the large bottles of [Brand] now.”

Customer: “What?! You don’t have it in [Other Brand]?”

Employee: “No, ma’am. I am very sorry. We do not.”

Customer: “What about [Another Brand]?”

Employee: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but that too is discontinued.”

Customer: “But, but, why?!”

Employee: “I’m not sure. They always sold quite well. The only thing I can imagine is [Brand] did not want competition and requested to not have it.”

Customer: “But [Brand] always tastes off to me. Are you sure you don’t have any in the back?”

Employee: “I am, sadly, acutely positive of that, ma’am. I am very sorry that we have let you down.”

Customer: “But you haven’t let me down. This wasn’t your fault.”

Employee: “But, sadly, the folks who are responsible for this will never apologize to you. So I feel I must. Please have a good day.”