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There Is No Spoon

| Working | September 20, 2014

(I had just bought chili, and was gathering my utensils to sit down and eat.)

Me: “Can you refill the spoons, please?”

Cashier: “We’re out of spoons.”

Me: “So, how am I supposed to eat my chili?”

Cashier: *blank stare, then points at manager*

Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “How am I supposed to eat my chili if you don’t have any spoons?”

Manager: *blank stare*

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t sell chili if people can’t eat it.”

Manager: <blank stare>

Me: “Never mind. Give me my money back. I don’t want to eat here anymore.”

Driving Thru Justice

, | Right | September 8, 2014

(I work at a fairly popular fast-food restaurant. Our location is right next to three different college campuses, so our main customers are a lot of students and teachers in-between classes. This, of course, means our fast service is super-essential, especially in the middle of a rush-hour lunch period.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food]! How does a [Burger] sound today?”

Customer: “What sounds good is a moment to order. Just wait a second.”

Me: “Okie-dokie, just holla as soon as you’re ready to—”

Customer: “Will you shut the f*** up and let me f****** decide?!”

Me:  *shocked* “Um, okay. I—”

Customer: “Um, um, um! BE QUIET. I AM TRYING TO ORDER!”

(I stay quiet for four minutes, until she speaks again.)

Customer: “Are you even f****** there?”

Me: “Yeppers, and I’m ready to take your order whenever you are.”

Customer: “Don’t you f****** take that tone with me! I’ll have a large number six with a [Soda], no ice.”

Me: “Excellent, I’ve got a—”

Customer: “What’s my total?”

Me: “I’ll ring it up.”

(The customer drives up before I am done punching it in, and parks at the first window. There is no one there, since that employee is on her break, and all of the service is left to me. Eventually, the customer seems to get the message, and I wave her up to the final window.)

Customer: “Why isn’t there anyone f****** there to take my money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He’s on break. It’s just me right now.” *I hand her her drink* “Your total came to $6.55.”

Customer: “WHAT? That’s too much. I don’t have that!” *waves her credit card*

Me: “I’m sorry. I was trying to tell you the total at the speaker—”

Customer: “This [Soda] tastes like s***. I want a free one.”

Me: “I’ll just pour you another one—”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager.”

(I get my manager, who had heard the better part of our exchange over the headsets.)

Manager: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I swear I never do this, but I have been waiting forever to get my food, your worker is a f****** b**** and totally incompetent, and this isn’t the drink I ordered. And if I don’t get a free [Competitor’s Burger] and some pies or something, then I swear I’m never coming back and I will tell my kids and all of my grandkids and everyone I know to never come back to this restaurant ever again!”

Manager: “That’s really too bad. If you want a free [Competitor’s Burger], you’ll have to get your a** down three blocks and b**** at the [Competitor]’s people instead. And you’ll have to, now that I’m officially banning you. Get the f*** out of my drive-thru.”

(At this, my manager slammed the window shut and told me to go ahead and eat the meal that the rude customer had left behind.)


This story is part of the second Drive-Thru roundup!

Read the next second Drive-Thru roundup story!

Read the second Drive-Thru roundup!

Vegetarians Often Go Without

, | Working | September 5, 2014

(I am a vegetarian, and often order my meals without meat. I go through a popular fast food drive through to order one of their popular breakfast sandwiches and specify what needs altered.)

Me: “Hey there! I’d like a [popular breakfast sandwich] without meat, and a large orange juice, please.”

Worker: “A [popular breakfast sandwich]?”

Me: “Yep! Without meat.”

Worker: “Do you want it without Canadian bacon or without sausage?”

Me: “… Whatever’s cheaper?”

The Bitter Taste Of The Law

, , | Right | September 5, 2014

(I work in the call center for a national fast food restaurant. We don’t accept ideas about new or modified products from guests, and we especially don’t pay for them. Any time a guest starts to give a suggestion, we have to read them a legal statement to that effect.)

Caller: “I wanted to tell you that I love your turkey burgers, but I really think you should start serving them on gluten-free—”

Me: *interrupting* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have something I need to read you real quickly.”

(I then read the legal statement stating that we can’t accept her idea, and won’t pay for it.)

Caller: *long pause* “Well, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so I’m going to hang up on you.”

(And she did!)

Drop That Opinion Like A Hot Potato

, | Friendly | September 5, 2014

(They have just recently released sweet potato fries at a popular fast food place. I’m there with my friend deciding what to get. When my friend sees that they now have sweet potato fries this exchange happens.)

Friend: “Eww, sweet potato fries. They’re gross.”

Me: “I actually don’t think they are that bad.”

Friend: “Oh, I’ve never actually had them before.”