(I recently quit working at a popular smoothie chain, but would sometimes stop in for breakfast on my way to class. The manager is the only person in the store at this time, and is running behind on the opening procedures. There are no other customers.)

Manager: “[My Name], you can just ring yourself up really quick and I’ll make your order.”

Me: “Okay, as long as it doesn’t get you in trouble.”

(I step behind the counter and put in my order. Just then another customer comes in. He witnessed our interaction, and is clearly confused.)

Manager: “Wanna ring him up for old time’s sake?”

Me: *to the customer* “Welcome to [Store Name]. What can I get for you today?”

(The manager makes both our orders, and I walk to class laughing at how it must have looked to the customer to see another customer go behind the counter and ring their own order up.)

(Because I walk to work, if it gets too cold or there’s too much snow, they’ll call me and tell me not to come in, and I can come in early or stay late the next day to make up the hours.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], just letting you know we won’t need you tonight, but you can come in at 11 tomorrow if you want.”

Me: “Would it be possible for me to stay late instead? I’m babysitting in the morning and I don’t think I’ll make it there by 11.”

Manager: “Can you try and make it by noon?”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do. If it’s another snow day for the schools I don’t think I can, but I’ll call by 11 tomorrow and let you know.”

(The next day rolls around and sure enough, the schools get a snow day so I can’t make it in by noon. I call at 10:30.)

Me: “…so I’ll be in at my scheduled time today, not any earlier, but I can stay late if you need me to.”

Manager: “But this isn’t enough notice! You have to call three hours before you’re scheduled. A lot of people called out today because of the snow. I need you to come in. Get here by noon or I’m writing you up!”

Me: “But—”

Manager: “GET HERE OR YOU’RE FIRED!”

(I called her boss and explained the situation, and was told that technically, because it was so cold, I should have been told not to come in at all!)

(I work for a very large, well know fast food company. I am a manager, and coupons can only be taken off by a manager. Every single time there is a coupon I have to put in a code. Every. Single. Time.)

Me: *in the front of the store filling orders*

Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

Me: *runs to opposite end of the store to take it off*

Me: *goes back up front to correct a customer complaint*

Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

Me: *knows line can’t move until I take it off, but I can’t leave the customer*

Me: *finally takes off the coupon in drive-thru*

Crew Member #2: “I need a promo!”

Me: *runs back to the front of the store*

(The phone rings. It’s a customer inquiry.)

Crew Member #1: “PROMO, PLEASE! AND I NEED A DISCOUNT!”

Crew Member #2: “Can I get a promo?”

(I talked on the phone while bagging orders while promo-ing off the front order, then ran to the back, still picking up the food items I needed on the way, promo-ing that off while still answering a customer’s question while having the headset on to make sure my drive-thru people are taking the correct orders. Needless to say, I left the coupon button on automatic for the rest of the day. Coupons are a lot more work than you think. F*** that s***!)

(A customer comes in on a Sunday afternoon. He orders a coffee but doesn’t leave after he gets it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, was there anything else I could help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, no, not at the moment, dear. I just wanted to give you this. You’re new here and I like to make sure all the new people are taken care of.”

(As he is speaking he pulls a miniature bible out of his pocket and slides it across the counter to me. I’m almost too startled to speak.)

Me: “…um, thank you?”

(I wait until he leaves and approach my manager.)

Me: “So, some guy just gave me a bible, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

Manager: “Yeah, he does that. We’ve asked him to stop but he won’t. If you don’t want to keep it there’s a box of them under the desk in the office. Just throw it there.”

Me: “There’s a whole box of these things?!”

Manager: “Yeah, we drop them off at the Goodwill center when it gets full.”

(Apparently this was just a normal thing that happened because when I moved to another restaurant down the road they also had a box of mini bibles that customers had given to employees.)

(I’m in the DRIVE-THRU.)

Cashier: “So that was a number five with a sweet tea. Anything else?”

Me: “No, thanks. That’s all.”

Cashier: “Will that be for here or to go?”

Me: “To… go…?”