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Not A Chance In (Convention) Hall

, , , | Right | January 13, 2010

Customer: “So the next convention in Sydney is THIS Thursday?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Would you like me to register you?”

Customer: “Ah, well, Thursday isn’t really going to work for me. Could you move the convention to Friday instead?”

Me: “I’m afraid that we have already booked the venue and the speakers and planned everything for Thursday. It’s a little late to consider changing the date, especially since we have around 70 people booked for this particular seminar.”

Customer: “So… no chance at all, then?”


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We Are The Law

, , , , | Right | November 4, 2009

(I’m helping at a comics show. Nearby are two men dressed in costumes as street judges from the comic Judge Dredd. A customer runs up to my store, clearly flustered.)

Customer: “I need help, I lost my drawing!”

Me: “A drawing? What type of drawing?”

Customer: “The artist at the signing table did a drawing of Spider-man for me and I lost it! I need the police!”

Me: “Okay, did you put it down at a stand or anything?”

Customer: “Yes… no. No, I think it was stolen.”

Me: “Somebody actually took it from you?”

Customer: “No, but, hey!” *looks and points at the street judges* “They’ll help me! Hey, guys!”

(The two judges come over to us at the desk.)

Judge Dredd: “What’s the matter?”

Me: “It’s okay, don’t worry. This man’s just lost a drawing.”

Customer: “I didn’t lose it, it was stolen. I want you guys to go find it.”

Judge Minty: “You serious?”

Customer: “Yes! Go! This b**** is useless!”

(Judge Dredd suddenly pulls a big, obviously fake, gun from holster and points it at the customer.)

Judge Dredd: “You really want to talk to the lady like that?”

Customer: “Ahhh!” *runs away into exhibit hall*

(About forty minutes later the same customer comes back to my desk clutching a rolled-up sketch. He’s eyeing the main doors, in front of which the two judges are posing for photos.)

Customer: *to me* “Um, is there another exit?”

I Find Your Lack Of T-shirts Disturbing

, , , , , , | Right | July 29, 2009

(I’m selling t-shirts at Comic-Con in San Diego. Two men are dressed as Star Wars characters come to my booth.)

Jedi #1: “Man, these shirts are all great. I don’t know how I’ll pick.”

Coworker: “Well, they are two for $35, so you can get any two you like.”

Jedi #2: “Is there any deal for three?”

Coworker: “Nope, just by twos.”

(Suddenly, the second Jedi activates his light-up lightsaber and speaks in an angry, menacing tone.)

Jedi #2: “How about now?!”


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