(I’m at home in Ontario while my boyfriend is in Nova Scotia for his friends’ wedding. We’re texting back and forth.)

Boyfriend: “I got you prezzies from Halifax today!”

Me: “Prezzies? Like multiples? More than one!”

Boyfriend: “Yes, well, I went and spent money on my boy. What? Lol.”

Me: “Sugar daddy.”

Boyfriend: “Nah, can’t afford real sugar. More like ‘Splenda daddy’.”

(My mom has just acquired a new Blackberry, and is using it to send me an email. At the bottom of the message is a strange sentence.)

Mom’s email: “Sore for any tips.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Mom’s email: “I meant to write ‘sorry for any typos’!”

(I am texting my boyfriend.)

Boyfriend: “Just got asked where you are tonight.”

Me: “Ooh! Busted for not inviting me!”

Boyfriend: “Well, technically it was a drunk idiot who shouted at me, ‘Hey big boy, getting laid tonight?’, but essentially…”

(I’m chatting with my fiancée online after we’ve been apart for a month. She’s coming back in a couple of days.)

Fiancée: “I can’t wait to be entertained by you live.”

Me: “Well, I learned in Psychology that the things that annoy us about our partners after some years of marriage are exactly the things that drew us to them to begin with.”

Fiancée:: “Yeah, I’ve heard that.”

Me: “And you liked my sense of humor. Which is going to get old fast and you’re going to get annoyed every time I make a joke.”

Fiancée: “Maybe.”

Me: “But with you, I only wanted you for your looks, which are going to go anyway. So, I’ll love you forever.”

Fiancée: “Nice…”

Me: “Do you like Nutella?”

Boyfriend: “Does a bear s*** in the woods?”

Me: “Duh! How else do we get Nutella?”

Boyfriend: “…you just ruined Nutella for me.”