Fake Sweet Talking

(I’m at home in Ontario while my boyfriend is in Nova Scotia for his friends’ wedding. We’re texting back and forth.)

Boyfriend: “I got you prezzies from Halifax today!”

Me: “Prezzies? Like multiples? More than one!”

Boyfriend: “Yes, well, I went and spent money on my boy. What? Lol.”

Me: “Sugar daddy.”

Boyfriend: “Nah, can’t afford real sugar. More like ‘Splenda daddy’.”