(My dad always gets frustrated by the driving skills of other people. If someone cuts him off, drives too slow, turns too quickly, etc., he will honk the horn and say ‘You dumb bunny!’ or ‘Move it, slowpoke!’.” We are just leaving the mall after an afternoon of shopping. There is a line of cars waiting to exit the parking lot. He is impatient with how long it is taking to leave. When there is only one car left in front of us—one driven by a little gray-haired lady—he begins to get really irritated.)

Dad: *yelling* “You had plenty of time to go! Come on! Move it, Grandma!”

(As the car turns onto the street, we were able to see the old lady’s face for the first time. It was actually my Grandma!)

(I’m waiting to cross the street to go to my friend’s house. I hear a car pull up next to me, but ignore it until the stranger in the passenger seat talks.)

Stranger: “Hey baby, how much do you go for?”

(I ignore him and pull out my phone before he speaks again.)

Stranger: “Come on, good looking… you know you want this.”

(I turn to the guy and am about to tell him off, when I realize the person in the driver’s seat is my friend. Realizing it’s me, my friend is about to talk, but quickly shuts his mouth at the face I am making.)

Me: *to the stranger* “Well, darling, it all depends on if you think you would be able to handle all of this.”

(He stutters before I chuckle, open the back door of the car, and get inside. The stranger stares, as my friend drives off to his house with me still in the backseat. I get out and follow the boys inside the house. Inside, I see my friend’s mom and walk over to give her a hug.)

Me: “Hi, Mama J.”

My Friend’s Mom: “Hi, Steph.”

Stranger: “Wait, you know her?!”

(Our friend chuckles before introducing us. That was eight years ago, and now I’m actually engaged to the (now better behaved) stranger.)

(I drive my brother’s car with my seven-year niece in the back seat. I’ve never driven an automatic car before, and now I’ve done something so that the car does not change gears by itself.)

Niece: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “The car will not shift gear.”

Niece: “Aha.”

Me: “Do not you hear how loud the car sounds? It should not do that.”

Niece: *coming up with the solution* “Turn on the radio, and then you won’t hear it!”

(My fiancé and I, both in our mid-20s and getting married in a month. We are driving down the highway in his serviceable, if admittedly not flashy, truck. We get stuck in traffic, when a fancy convertible full of teenage guys blasting rap music passes us in the other lane. The teens start to yell at us.)

Random teens: “Bet you fools wish you were cool! Losers!”

(A few minutes later, as the traffic lets up, we start to pass them. I grin.)

Me: *to fiancé* “Let’s make out.”

(As we pass the convertible, we kiss over-the-top, passionately.)

Fiancé: “Bet you wish you had a girl!”

(The teens are speechless. We pass them and fist bump.)

(My boyfriend and I are coming back from babysitting from 7 to 1 am, so we are both tired. He’s playing his new Minecraft app as I drive home.)

Boyfriend: *really loud* “Ahh!”

Me: “Oh, my god! What? Did you see a deer?”

Boyfriend: “No! There are zombies in Minecraft!”

Me: “Don’t do that to me!”

Boyfriend: “Aah! They’re hurting me!”

Me: “Stop it!”

Boyfriend: “Oh, my God. They’re everywhere!”

Me: “Do you want me to dragon shout them?”

Boyfriend: “Yes!”

Me: “Fus-Ro-Dah!”

Boyfriend: “That didn’t help! You suck!”

(I then proceeded to sing “Dragonborn” as he told me about what he was building to get away from the zombies. I knew we belonged together… just not at 1 am.)