Depositing Some Intelligence

(When I first got this job at the call center, I found out I’d be working for a bank. As employees, we get a few special benefits, like discounts on accounts opened with the bank, BUT, we are not allowed to even so much as look at our information (legal issues). To see what and when my direct deposit will be in my new account, I have to call customer service.)

Rep: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. This is [Rep]. How can I assist you today?”

Me: “Yeah, this is [Full Name], and I need to see when my direct deposit will go into my account, and how much it is going to be.”

(They take my account number and security details, before there is a long awkward pause.)

Rep: “Ma’am, I can’t seem to find where your direct deposit would be listed? I don’t think you can see it until it’s posted to your account.”

(I sit there, dumbfounded. I had learned how to do this simple look up during my first week of training.)

Me: “Sir, how long have you been working here?”

Rep: “Six months, ma’am.”

Me: “Okay, wow… Do you know what [Database] is?”

Rep: “Oh, yeah, of course! How do you know what that is?”

Me: “I work for the San Antonio center. Okay, I’m gonna walk you through this.” *I take them through the instructions* “Then tell me the amount on it, and the deposit date. Okay?”

Rep: “Okay, done. You will get [amount] on [Date] deposited into [account].”

Me: “Excellent, thank you.”

Rep: “Thank you, miss, and I do have one more question for you.”

Me: “Yeah?”

Rep: “If you knew how to do it, why didn’t you just look it up yourself?”

Me: “Oh, my f****** god. Bye!” *click*