Single Versus Single-Minded

(I work on a small crew that cleans and checks airplanes before locking them down for the night. There is a new hire, who I know is the boyfriend of one of my friends who works customer service.)

New Hire: “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “No. I’ve actually never had a boyfriend.”

New Hire: “So you’re a virgin?!”

Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes. I’ve never even been kissed.”

New Hire: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “Well, it’s true, but I don’t really care what you think.”

New Hire: “You know, you’re not bad looking. I’d kiss you.”

Me: “What? No!”

New Hire: “Why not?”

Me: “I know your girlfriend. Besides, I’m not interested.”

New Hire: “Come on. She wouldn’t care.”

Me: “You’re not my type.”

New Hire: “But I’ll kiss you!”

Me: “I’m not desperate. Seriously, I’m not interested.”

New Hire: “Whatever.”

(A couple of weeks later, I give my notice—for different reasons. The next week I am on a crew with the same guy.)

New Hire: “I heard you gave your notice.”

Me: “Yup.”

New Hire: “But we haven’t even got to know one another yet!”

Me: “You know, I think I’m okay with that.”

New Hire: “Come on! I’m six times more awesome than you remember me!”

Me: “Six times zero is still zero.”