Got To Give The Old Guy Some Credit

(We run credit checks on people who want to sign contracts. Bad credit just means that someone has to prepay a few months of service.)

Divorcee: “I just went through an ugly divorce. I’m bankrupt because the b**** took everything. How much do I have to pay to get a phone?”

(I run a credit check.)

Me: “Well, the bankruptcy hasn’t affected your credit, so you won’t have to prepay a cent.”

Divorcee: “Wow, that’s ever so sweet of you. Do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “No. I’m not interested in dating right now.”

Divorcee: “Well, I’m going to take you out, then.”

Me: “I actually don’t date customers, but thanks for the offer.”

Divorcee: “Oh, well I won’t buy from you then.”

Me: “I’ve already gotten everything processed for you; here you are.”

Divorcee: “So, why won’t you date me?”

Me: “Well, I think I’m a little young for you.”

Divorcee: “How old is your dad?”

(I check his ID from the credit check.)

Me: “Two years younger than you.”

Divorcee: “Well, I’ve got your card so I’ll call tomorrow and find out when you’re free for dinner.”

Me: “I’m not here tomorrow.”

Divorcee: “Then I’ll call the next day.”

Me: “I’m not here then.”

Divorcee: “Okay, I’ll call the day after. I’ll keep calling every day.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that won’t work.”

(He finally turns to leave the store, but turns around at the doors and calls into the store full of people.)

Divorcee: “Okay! I’ll call you in a couple of days about dinner. It’ll be the best thing you ever do!”

(Older than my dad, bankrupt, and divorced? Nope!)