Sick Burn

(A woman walks up to my counter with a saucepan. The aluminum core has been melted out of the base of the pan. She explains to me that she burned the pan and she wants to get it replaced.)

Me: “Oh, good timing! They’re on sale right now!”

Customer: “No, I just want to trade it for a new one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t replace the pan for that.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. Isn’t it covered by the warranty?”

Me: “No, the warranty doesn’t cover that.”

Customer: “Why doesn’t the warranty cover that?”

Me: “Well, the warranty only covers flaws in the pan, like if the handle falls off, or there’s a funny spot on the finish right out of the box.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why this isn’t covered!”

Me: “The warranty doesn’t cover burning the pan.”

Customer: “Well, my friend had it happen and they gave her a new pan.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not supposed to do that. The warranty doesn’t cover that.”

Customer: *getting very frustrated with me* “Well, I just don’t understand why the warranty doesn’t cover it!”

Me: “The warranty only covers manufacturer’s mistakes. It doesn’t cover burning the pan because you. Did. It. To. The. Pan.”

(The customer took her pan and huffed out the door.)