Should Get His Head Chequed

(A client calls in regarding a payment he is expecting from us. I determine the reason for the delay, correct it, and all that is left is the processing of the payment.)

Me: “How would you like the payment, sir? Electronically or by cheque?”

Client: “Electronically, please.”

Me: “Not a problem. I just need your bank account details so we can transfer the payment.”

Client: *short pause* “Who are you again?”

Me: “I’m [My Name] from [Government Department].”

Client: “So this is [Government Department]? How do I know that’s true?”

Me: “Well, you called me.”

Client: “Did I? I’m still not sure. I think you’re faking it.”

Me: “Well, sir, if you’re uncomfortable providing your bank account details over the phone, we can send the payment via cheque.”

Client: “No, a cheque takes too long.”

Me: “We currently don’t have your bank account details, so you will need to provide them to us if you want electronic payment.”

Client: “Well, that’s no good.”

Me: “Cheque, then, sir?”

Client: “I guess. Do I have to give you my address?”

Me: “No, we already have your address unless… have you moved recently, sir?”

Client: *exasperated sigh* “How would I know that?”