Self-Closed-Minded

(My husband and I are the goofs in this one. We unknowingly arrive within 30 minutes of closing at a huge department store. This store is known for being notoriously busy at nearly any time of the day. As we are meandering through the store, we notice that it seems quiet.) 

Me: “Wow, this is such a nice experience. [Store] is always so psychotic.”

Husband: “Yeah, it’s pretty quiet; I’m surprised!”

(We continue to shop, but also continue to observe.)

Me: “Okay, it’s really empty now. Like, ‘something-must-be-wrong’ empty. Are you sure they aren’t closing?”

Husband: “No way! I’m sure they are open until 8:00 pm on Saturdays. I’ll double-check, but I’m sure that’s right.”

(By this time it is 6:15 pm, and we arrived at 5:30 pm, thinking we had two and a half hours to complete our shopping.) 

Husband: “Oh, no. No, we’re totally wrong. They’re closed. They close at six.”

Me: “Noooo. Hurry!”

(We proceed to literally run up and down the last couple aisles grabbing our things. I have always dreaded being “that” person, having worked in retail myself in the past, coming in close to closing and taking their sweet time. We approach one of the two open tills and begin loading our items onto the belt as quickly as possible.) 

Me: *to the cashier* “I am sorry that we are ‘those’ people. We thought you guys were open until 8:00 tonight.”

Cashier: “It’s fine. The hours are a bit confusing. But don’t worry; you’re not alone.” *gestures around* “There’s 178 of ‘those people’ tonight.”