Sawing Through Excuses

(At our store, we’ve had a string of returns for “defective” lawn equipment, with many customers reporting that the product they purchased “stopped working.” The reality is, most of these returns are the result of a very common user error, and my manager is very fed up.)

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this chainsaw. It stopped working.”

Me: *taking one quick look* “Okay, sir, I’ll call my manager over to authorize the return.” *paging* “[Manager] to cash, please.”

(I see my manager walking over to my register. As soon as he sees what is sitting on my counter, I can see his blood vessels starting to swell up.)

Manager: “Okay, and what seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “This chainsaw no longer works.”

Manager: “Well, let me guess: You forgot to mix the gasoline with oil, didn’t you?!”

(This is the very common user error I was talking about. However, I know for a fact that this isn’t the case for this particular return.)

Me: “[Manager], calm down. This is an electric chainsaw.”

Manager: *much more cheerful* “Oh, um, then I guess it’s legit. Okay, let’s process this return!”