(I work in a layaway service that has the option to cancel your layaway anytime you want.)

Customer: “Hi, I just need to do a couple things today. I want to make a regular payment on one and pay the other one off.”

Me: “Okay, I just need to see your ID. Do you want to do the payment first?”

Customer: “I want to cancel one and take both out.”

Me: *thinking I misheard* “Oh, sorry. I thought you wanted to make a payment and pay one off.”

Customer: “No. I’m not making a payment, but I’m taking both out.”

Me: “…I’m sorry? So you don’t want to cancel?”

Customer: “No, I do want to cancel one! I want them both right now though!”

Me: “So, you want me to take the one layaway out so you can buy it up front?”

Customer: “No, what? I want my things, but I want my refund, too.”

Me: “… Ma’am, if I’m hearing you right, I can’t give you your items if you don’t pay for it. You need to pay it off first.”

Customer: “No one would have to know though, right? Just put it through as a refund and give me my stuff and my money. You’re going to be taking it out anyway. It’s easy.”

Me: “… I can’t do that. That would be stealing.”

Customer: “But I picked out the stuff myself! Whatever. I’ll come back later when someone actually WANTS to help me. You get confused too easy!”

(She then walked off. Turned out she did try to come back and ask for a ‘refund,’ but was quickly taken care of by security when she began to throw a fit over ‘poor service!’)

(I work at the only department store in my city, which is very busy and well known. My mom often comes in to pick me up, so the staff all know who she is. I work at customer service, so many people know to ask me for help, and even if I’m not working if they are polite I help them. As I go to the back and see my mother waiting, I notice a lady approach her.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where can I find [item]?”

Mom: “I think they’re over there. I’m not really sure.”

Customer: “Well your daughter works here. You should know!”

(The lady storms off and I approach.)

Me: “Did she just…?”

Mom: “She did, and you want to know the worst part? That’s got to be the third time this week.”

(I have been working at the store for a few months. I haven’t had the funds for a haircut, thus my hair is fairly long. I also am sporting a full beard. A couple and their young son come to my register and I ring them up.)

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Child: *who has been staring at me* “Um… excuse me…”

Me: “Yes?”

Child: “Are you Thor?”

Me: *trying not to crack* “Yes, son, I am. I’m actually on an undercover mission from my father, Odin, hunting for Loki. He may be in disguise. Let me know if you see him, all right?”

Child: “YES, I WILL! WOW! WAIT UNTIL I TELL EVERYONE AT SCHOOL I MET THOR!”

(It was the highlight of that job. I kept the Thor voice the whole time and his parents gave me the most grateful smiles!)

(It is about two weeks after “Guardians Of The Galaxy” has hit theaters. I’ve wanted to see it but haven’t had a chance. A customer comes through my line with a shirt picturing the characters from the movie.)

Me: *grins* “I like your shirt!”

Customer: “Yeah! Have you seen it yet?”

Me: “No, I haven’t had a chance to go yet.”

Customer: “Go see it right now.”

Me: *laughs* “I’ll get right on that.”

Customer: “No, seriously. Close your lane, leave work right now, and go see that movie.”

Me: *more laughing* “I really wish I could! I’ll see it first chance I get.”

Customer: “Hey, the customer is always right, right? Tell your boss that the customer said you have to leave and go see a movie!”

Me: *my coworkers start laughing, too* “I really don’t think that would go over well.”

(I processed his transaction and handed him his receipt, and as he was leaving he told me again that I should really go see it. That customer made my night.)

This story is part of our They Said The Thing roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

15 Hilarious Stories About Customers Demanding The Impossible

Read the first They Said The Thing roundup story!

Read the They Said The Thing roundup!

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I want a large chocolate shake, and can I still get burgers this late?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

Customer: “Great! I want the grilled onion cheddar burger, but no cheese.”

Me: “So just the onions on the burger?”

Customer: “Yeah, sorry to be so complicated.”

Me: “It’s no problem, and honestly it’s not that bad. You’d be surprised at the kind of requests I get through here. Can I get anything else for you today?”

Customer: *joking* “I’d like a large coke in a small cup to go.”

Me: “Aw, I wish I could, but unfortunately our cups don’t have Time Lord technology, so they aren’t bigger on the inside.”