Coworker: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: I don’t care. I’m bi. I like it both ways.”

Entering is easy:

1. Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: We Are Closed. Share a story about customers for whom “closing time” is just a suggestion!
2. At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!

(I work for a computer repair shop which gets a lot of work orders from a big company because we’re nearby and are known for how fast we repair units. We also use receipts for orders that are being picked up by others.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m here to pick up a computer for [Supervisor].”

Me: “Do you have the repair receipt for their computer?”

Customer: “No, just use my ID.” *shows me work ID*

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I’m not allowed to give you any computer without a receipt due to security reasons.”

Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I’m an executive at [Big Company]. I can pick up as many computer orders as I want! Just shut up and do your **** job and give me [Supervisor]’s computer!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But regardless of who you are, I cannot give you any computer without a receipt.”

(The door jingle goes off, meaning another customer has come into the shop.)

Customer: “That’s it! I’m gonna have your a** fired, you incompetent f***! I’ve never been treated so rudely!”

Me: “Well, I hate to repeat myself but again, we’re not allo—”.”

(At this point I notice a police officer and security guard from [Big Company] standing behind the man.)

Customer: *practically yelling at this point* “What?! Not allowed to give me [Supervisor]’s computer?! Well, I’ll –”

Police Officer: “Mr. [Customer]. You’re under arrest for attempted robbery.”

(The customer turns around to see the two men, and makes a break for the door only to be tackled in seconds and taken away by the police officer.)

Security Guard: “Can you believe that guy? He quit and threatened to steal [Supervisor]’s computer all because he didn’t get the vacation time he wanted.”

Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

(Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

Me: “Yes, for $69.”

Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

Me: “It is. For $69.”

Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

(I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

Coworker: “$69.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!”

(A customer in his 60s approaches me.)

Customer: “Can I ask a strange question?”

Me: “Go ahead. I’d be happy to help.”

(He begins to adjust his pants.)

Customer: “Can you check the tag for my size?”

Me: “Let me stop you there, sir. The washroom is a short distance away and you can check the size yourself. When you get back I can help you find a pair of pants that fit you.”

Customer: “Coward! What is your name?!”

(I turned and walked away. I found out later that he complained to my manager that one of the employees refused to look down his pants.)