Epic Wail

| UK | Related | April 5, 2012

(A child of about six has been riding her scooter up and down the disabled ramp. She falls off. Her mother is standing nearby, but has her arms full with another little girl, about three, so hasn’t moved to comfort her. The child is crying.)

Mum: *sounding sympathetic* “Oh, dear.”

(The child, realising she is getting attention, starts wailing louder.)

Mum: *sounding less sympathetic* “Now that’s what I call epic fail.”

He Forgot Hammer-Man

| Cortland, NY, USA | Related | April 4, 2012

(I’m in my living room with my 5-year-old and 2-year-old sons. A friend of mine stops by, wearing an Avengers T-shirt.)

5-year-old son: “That’s Captain America and Black Widow and Iron Man and The Hulk!”

(My friend looks at my younger, 2-year-old son.)

Friend: “Can you name any?”

2-year-old son: “Nick Fury and Arrow-Guy.”

Friend: “Close enough.”

That’s One Beast Of A Plot Hole

| West Point, NY, USA | Related | April 4, 2012

(My three-year-old daughter is watching ‘Beauty and the Beast’, when my husband suddenly pauses the movie.)

Daughter: “Hey! Daddy!”

Me: “Why’d you pause it?”

Husband: “I was just thinking…at the beginning, the guy said the rose would bloom until his 21st birthday. In the song, the candle says they’ve been enchanted for ten years. So, this prince was ten or eleven years old when he was changed into a beast. Seems a little unfair, don’t you think?”

Me: “I never really thought about it.”

Husband: “Also, how did the villagers not notice that their monarch had just kind of dropped off the face of the earth?”

Me: “You’re really over-analyzing this. It’s a movie directed at little kids.”

Husband: “But seriously, think about it!”


| Related | April 4, 2012

A Great Case Of Old Timers

| Erie, PA, USA | Related | April 4, 2012

(I pop in unexpectedly to visit my grandmother.)

Me: “Hi, Grandma!”

Grandmother: “Hi, Grandma!”

Me: “Wait, I’m not your grandma!”

Grandmother: *pretending to be shocked* “You’re not? Then who are you and what are you doing in my house?!”

(I want to be her when I grow up.)

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