Radio Killed The Grocery Store

(In my day job, I’m a radio personality. Sadly, sitting on my butt talking doesn’t pay a lot, so in my night job, I work at the local grocery store. I’m stocking shelves one night when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “So, when are you coming over to my place?”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Customer: “Well, I know you’re the guy from the radio. You’re doing like those TV shows, right? You’re going undercover at a dirty job so you can talk about it on the radio? Well, I want in on this. I want you to come work a few shifts at my business for this bit.”

Me: “Um… No. I actually do work here, sir.”

Customer: “Wait, what? But why?”

Me: “Because money’s tight and I’ve got bills to pay.”

Customer: “No. NO! This will not do. You’re, like, the best guy on the radio. Tomorrow, I’m going to call the station, talk to your boss, and get you a raise so you don’t have to do this anymore!”

(I don’t think he ever talked to my boss, because I never did get that raise. However, the new contract I recently signed does ban me from getting a second job.)