Put ‘Give Birth’ On To The Business Plan

(My grandmother, whom I call Nana, has just had surgery on her back, My parents, boyfriend, and I are all visiting her while she’s recovering. My mother has taken two weeks off of work to help out my grandparents while my grandmother recovers, but her work keeps emailing her as the entire office tends to fall apart when she’s not there.)

Mom: “I don’t know how they’re going to survive without me. I just can’t get a moment’s peace even when I take the day off.”

Nana: “They won’t. They’re going to email you every hour on the hour. Remember when you were having [My Name]?”

Mom: *laughs* “Oh, yeah. That time, even the doctor was surprised.”

Me: “Wait, what happened?”

Mom: “Well, I was pushing; I was lying in bed, and I distinctly remember I was pushing, and then the phone in the hospital room started ringing, and your dad had to answer it.”

Dad: “It was [Mom’s Former Boss]; she was asking if you had been born yet.”

Mom: “And so I’m sitting there pushing and I’m like, ‘Yes, the birth is going fine; No, she hasn’t been born yet; Yes, I’ll have [Dad] call you back so you can rush over as soon as the baby’s here.’ And the doctor is just kind of staring at me as your dad hangs up the phone and I was just like ‘Oh, that’s my boss.’”

Dad: “He looked so confused; he thought they were going to fire her for taking the day off to give birth.”

(My mom’s old boss is one of her best friends. They share the same birthday and they’ve worked together at three different companies. I always knew she was excitable and she’s come to so many family events to see me but I had no idea she was that excited about my birth that she would call my mom in the middle of it.)