Parking Here Over Their Dead Body

(My friend works for an animal crematorium. The company provides cremation services for pets as well as farm animals, and has accounts with medical and veterinary schools in the area to handle animals used for educational purposes, such as dissection. Part of my friend’s job is to drive a circuit around town, picking up the animals in a well-marked van at the places that have requested service that day. He has this encounter with strangers several times a week. He parks his van in the designated spot. A car pulls in behind him as he is getting out.)

Friend: “Excuse me. You cannot park here. This is a loading zone.”

Stranger: “There’s plenty of room. There’s like, three spaces.”

Friend: “Yes, there is plenty of space. And I will need it. Because this is a loading zone.”

Stranger: “Come on. It’s fine. You don’t need all that space.”

Friend: *pointing to the name of the company clearly painted on the side of the van* “I see. And will you feel that way when I bring a body out?”

(Somehow, these people are always suddenly in a hurry to move their cars.)