Only Knows Her Antisocial Number

I work at a bank in a very small town. The phone rings.

Me: “[Bank], this is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a balance.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s your account number?”

Customer: “[Number].”

Me: “Thank you. I need to confirm some security details. Can I confirm your date of birth and the last four digits of your social?”

The customer gives me the right date of birth but the wrong social.

Me: “I’m so sorry, but that doesn’t match what I have on the system. I’ll need to ask you some additional security questions. I’d also highly recommend that you stop into one of our branches with ID so we can correct this.”

Customer: “No, you don’t! It’s me! That’s my number. This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m in there all the time. I just drove through your parking lot ten minutes ago! You saw me! GIVE ME MY BALANCE!”

Me: “Can you confirm—”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Then I can’t provide any information over the phone. You’ll need to come in with an ID.”

Customer: “You waved at me ten minutes ago! You live down the street from me!”

She continues screaming for a solid minute. I hold the phone away from my ear until I hear silence.

Me: “Ma’am, I think you have me confused with someone else. I don’t live in this town.”

Customer: “This isn’t [Coworker]?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “FINE. What information did you need me to confirm?”

She answers every security question on my list, complaining all the way about how she can’t believe that I don’t know who she is, because she’s been banking there since before I was born, she shouldn’t be treated this way, etc.

Me: “Thank you. Your balance is [amount]. Have a nice day!”

I hung up and put a flag on her account stating that her Social Security number on our system didn’t match what she gave me. This will prompt anyone who accesses it in the future to automatically ask additional security questions. So, every time she calls, she’ll have to go through the same thing she did with me until she comes in to fix it.