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Confusing The Bar Staff? Hold My Beer

, , , | Right | January 28, 2021

I am trying to order a drink.

Me: “Can I please have a Monteiths?”

That’s not what I intended to say. I’ve forgotten the name of the drink I want. It is actually a brand of beer, though. 

Bar Staff #1: “What?”

Me: “Monteiths. You know, the beer.”

Bar Staff #1: “I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “Oh. That’s not actually what I meant. I want that beer. The dark one.”

I click my fingers, trying to remember.

Me: “The one with the stuff on top.”

The bar staff give me blank looks.

Me: “The Irish one. You know…”

I wave my hand vaguely down the road in the direction of an Irish pub, which they don’t click to. A third barman arrives at the bar. His two colleagues look relieved to see him.

Bar Staff #3: “What are you after?”

Me: “That Irish beer.”

Bar Staff #3: “Guinness!”

Me: “Yes!”

Bar Staff #3: “Ah, sorry, we don’t have it.”

Me: “Oh, no. Do you have a similar one? A Porter?”

I’ve just done it again. A London Porter is a name of a beer, not a type of beer.

Bar Staff #3: “You mean a stout?”

I lay my head down on my arms on the bar.

Me: “Yes. Yes, please. Oh, my God. I’m sorry. I’ve just finished work and my brain has stopped working.”

The bar staff grinned and fetched me my drink. The best part? It was happy hour and I got a tap beer and two servings of fries for the table for $8! I love that place.

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