On A Staple Diet Of Disbelief And Entitlement

(This is my first week working at an office on campus at a well-known university. Students frequently come in and ask to use our stapler, but we are told not to let them borrow it.)

Student: “Hey do you guys have a stapler I can borrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t, but if you go downstairs to the student help desk, you can find one.”

Student: “Isn’t this the dean’s office?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Student: “So, I know you have a stapler that I can borrow. It’ll be like two seconds.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t.”

(The student scans my desk and begins bouncing from one foot to the other.)

Student: “So I really have to go downstairs?”

Me: “If you want your paper stapled, you will.”

(After a few more seconds, he finally catches the elevator to go downstairs. A few minutes later he walks by, waving his stapled paper at me. My coworker walks in.)

Me: “He really did all of that to still go downstairs.”

Coworker: “Oh, you’ll get used to it.”