Old People Rants So Cliché They Were Phoned In

(I’m walking down the street to the mall and I get a text message that might be of direct importance, so I take my phone out of my pocket and look. A second later, I notice a man exiting the mall I am just entering, so I look up. He stands still in front of me, blocking my way. There is still a good meter between us.)

Man: “Is your phone so important? Do you really have to bump into people for it?”

Me: “I happened to get a message just now that could be important, so yeah, that happens.”

(I give a polite smile and try to walk past him, but he continues to block me.)

Man: “All you youngsters have no respect! Only ever looking at your phone!”

Me: “Well, I apologise. Excuse me.”

(I decide to ignore him and manage to slip past him.)

Man: “I hope you bump into a wall!”