Occupation: Impossible

(I’m the only employee working in the store in the middle of winter. I’m supposed to be counting the cash, but a long line of customers means it’s an hour late and I haven’t even started. There’s also slush tracked in from customers all over the floor but I can’t even get out from behind the counter long enough to mop it up, the cigarettes and lottery tickets are running low, and the beer cooler is practically empty. Two of my bosses drop by to see how things are doing.)

Boss #1: “Why is the floor such a mess?! You’re such a slacker! If you keep slacking off like this, we’re going to have to let you go!”

Me: “It’s been super busy and I haven’t had time to leave the cash.”

Boss #2: “Why isn’t the cash counted yet?”

Me: “I’ve had non-stop customers for the last two hours.”

Boss #1: *mopping the floor* “I can’t believe you let it get this bad!”

Boss #2: “Why didn’t you call us and tell us there were no scratch tickets or cigarettes?”

Me: “I did, three hours ago. You said you’d be by in a few minutes.”

Boss #1: “You’re such a slacker!”

(At this point, a customer who has been in line throughout this whole exchange speaks up.)

Customer: “What do you expect her to do? Leave the customers here and go clean and stock stuff?”

Boss #1: “She should be doing both!”

Customer: “And how exactly can she do both?”

(Boss #1 ignores him while Boss #2 comes out from the beer cooler.)

Boss #2: “Beer coolers are almost empty. You have to stock that right away. I also took some cigarettes and scratch tickets out of the safe for you to put out. Oh, and count the cash right now!”

Me: “Is there any way you can stock the beer for me? I don’t think I’m going to be leaving the cash for a while.”

Boss #2: “Nope! See ya!” *leaves*

(Thankfully, another customer went and stocked the beer cooler for me—but not before rolling her eyes at my boss.)