Not To Belabor The Obvious

(I have been admitted to hospital due to a serious case of meningitis, which is highly contagious, and pneumonia in both lungs. I am also 28 weeks pregnant and it is very obvious. I have been transferred to a ward containing three elderly men. My mother calls over a nurse to ask about this as it seems odd.)

My Mum: “Excuse me, but my daughter’s been placed in this ward which is clearly for men. We were told she needed to be in a room on her own because she has meningitis.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand the problem.”

My Mum: “My FEMALE daughter has been put in a MALE ward, and she has a contagious infection and should be isolated.”

(The nurse understands this time, and has me transferred again to a private room. About five minutes later, a different nurse comes to run some tests.)

Nurse: “Okay, and I’ll need a urine sample so we can check you’re not pregnant.”

Me: “Actually I am pregnant. 28 weeks. It should be in my medical notes.”

Nurse: “It doesn’t mention that at all. Are you sure you’re pregnant?”

Me: “Yes, and I told the paramedics when they brought me in. I also told the doctor in A&E and I’ve been for three scans at this hospital, so it should be in the notes somewhere.”

Nurse: “Okay, I’ll just write that down. Now, we’ll need to give you a chest x-ray to see how badly your lungs have been affected by the pneumonia. We’ll just need to get a urine sample from you first.”

Me: “Why?”

Nurse: “We have to check you’re not pregnant because the radiation could be harmful to a baby.”

Me: *facepalm*