(I have an oversized bag with a Rolling Stone cover of Johnny Depp. As I’m leaving class one day I overhear two girls discussing my bag.)

Girl #1: “Look, her bag is Tupac. He’s so sexy. Too bad he died.”

(Girl #2 readily agrees, and they continually discuss how sexy my ‘Tupac’ bag is. I can’t take it anymore because my bag clearly says ‘JOHNNY DEPP’ on it, so I tell said girls:)

Me: “Um, my bag is Johnny Depp. Not Tupac.”

(They then walked away discussing how sexy Johnny Depp is. If these two girls can’t tell the difference between two VERY different men, how the heck did they get into school?!)

(In one of my math classes, we have a final group paper to do. I’m the leader and ask the others to send me their parts so I can compile and edit them. Three of us are juniors and the third is a senior.)

Me: “Okay, the paper is due in a week and a half. Can you send me your sections before next week so I have time to edit?”

Three Group Members: “Sure!”

(Two days later:)

Two Juniors: “Here’s mine. Sorry it took so long.”

(Two days later:)

Me: “[Senior], did you finish yet? I really want the time to edit it. Yours is the last I need and I need to make sure everything flows okay.”

(The next day:)

Senior: “Oh, um, here it is.”

(He sent me a copied Wikipedia page of his topic, complete with the embedded links!)

(During gym class in freshman year, I end up arguing with one of the meaner boys in the class. I have recently come out as gay to the school, but this classmate doesn’t know that yet. We are standing outside of the room for the LGBTQ club.)

Classmate #1: “You can go back to your little-boy club and just make out with all of them! I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Classmate #2: “Umm, I actually think he would be quite okay with that…”

(I go out shopping with a man I’ve only been dating a couple of weeks, and he drags me into the toy section of a large store. Note that we’re both in our mid-twenties. I’m playing with a toy light-saber when this happens.)

Him: “You think that’s cool? You should see MY light-saber!”

Me: *turns to stare at him*

Him: *realisation hits* “That wasn’t a line! I actually have a light-saber at home! How lame is that…”

Me: “Even lamer is that I didn’t think for one second that you WEREN’T talking about an actual toy light-saber.”

(I am currently unemployed. My boyfriend goes to work early and I sleep until 5 pm and go to bed at around 4 am. I hate this schedule and tell him before he goes to sleep to make sure I get up before he leaves for work and that I had to be awake before he left. The next morning:)

Boyfriend: “Hey, sweetie… time to wake up.”

(No response.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, little spoon, time to get out of bed.”

(Still no response so he tries pulling the covers off. I yank them back violently.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, you’re awake! C’mon, time to get up! C’mon, sweetie. C’mon, [My Name].”

Me:  *shakes head no*

Boyfriend: *frustrated* “Last night you told me I needed to wake you up and that it was very important I do, so, c’mon! Get up!”

Me: *suddenly yelling* “WELL, I LIED!”

(He laughed and went to work. Regrettably I woke up at 5 pm.)