(When my boyfriend is messing with me, he likes to do a fake ‘evil laugh.’ I think it’s adorable when he tries to be ‘evil’ and I always laugh at it.)

Boyfriend: *continuing an argument we’ve been having* “…no, it’s true! Google it and you’ll see.”

Me: “I can’t. I forgot my phone at my house, remember?”

Boyfriend: “Oh, yeah. I guess you’ll never know then.” *does evil laugh* “Hehehehe…”

Me: *laughs* “I hate that evil laugh.”

Boyfriend: “No you don’t. You’re secretly in love with it.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s true. I’m going to marry your evil laugh. That’s the slippery slope we’re on now that we have gay marriage: marrying sounds.”

Boyfriend: “It’s really a shame.”

(We have just attended a ‘Viking Feast’ with our little girl, and our nine-year-old son. They’re both dressed as Vikings, with her in a dress and him in a tunic and pants. He has very bushy, shoulder-length hair, and occasionally gets mistaken for a girl, which is beginning to tick him off.)

Attendee: “Both you girlies look really nice today in your outfits!”

Son: “I’m not a girl!”

Attendee: “Oh, I’m sorry… ‘young lady’!”

Son: “I’m not— aargh!”

Husband: “Get in the truck, ‘girlie.'”

(My sister and her fiancé work together. He goes by his first name at work.)

Workmate: “Hi, [Sister]. How did your date with [First Name] go? Did you have fun?”

Sister: “Yes, it was great. [First Name] took me to the beach.”

Workmate: “You and [First Name] are great together.”

(They said their goodbyes and we leave.)

Mum: “Who the h*** is [First name]? What about [Second Name]? Have you changed your mind?”

Sister: *laughing* “No, Mum. [Second Name] is [First Name].”

Mum:  “Why? Is he hiding from someone?”

Sister:  “He was named after his father and grandfather. They use his second name at home to stop confusion.”

Mum:  “Okay, I understand. It would have caused confusion in our family, too, seeing as your father has the same first name.”

(My family is watching a home video clip show where a skateboarder loses the skateboard and it remains hanging in a tree. An arrow is added for emphasis since the video is a little grainy.)

17-Year-Old Brother: “For a second, I wondered where they got the arrow…”

(My mom has a hysterectomy so my dad and I go to visit her in the hospital. It must be noted that she is given morphine for the pain and she hates ‘The Jerry Springer Show.’)

Me: “Hey, Mom.”

Mom: “Hi…”

(The TV show changes to ‘The Jerry Springer Show.’)

Mom: “Ugh, change the channel… There’s not enough drugs in my system for this…”