Living Your Life Is Preferable To Making One

(My sister has decided to come out to our mother, no matter what. She unfortunately chooses a day when my mum is running late for work.)

Sister: “Mum?”

Mum: “What?”

Sister: “I’ve got something really important to tell you.”

Mum: *freezes* “Oh, God…”

Sister: “I’m gay.”

Mum: “Are you joking?!”

Sister: “Um, no…”

Mum: “You’re telling me at quarter to eight in the morning?!”

Sister: “Um… yes?”

Mum: “I don’t have time for this! I need to have a shower!”

(Our mum runs out of the kitchen and upstairs to the bathroom. We both hear mum laughing in the shower. She walks out a few minutes later, and pops into my room.)

Mum: “Thank God! I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant!”

Me: “No chance of that!”