Liar, Liar, Hand’s On Fire

(Our theme park has designated smoking areas. I have just rounded a corner and see a guest smoking in a non-designated spot near a children’s play area. She spots me quickly and hides the cigarette in her hand.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a non-smoking area. I can show you to one of our designated smoking areas just a short distance away.”

Guest: “I wasn’t smoking! That is a very rude accusation to make!”

(Meanwhile, smoke has been drifting out from between her fingers where she has cupped her hand around the still-lit cigarette.)

Me: “Then it appears your hand is on fire. I can take you to one of our emergency medical stations. They’re conveniently located next to our designated smoking areas.”

Guest: *deadpan* “Yes, that’s it. Oh no, my hand! Please show me to medical station!”

(I lead her towards the medical station. As soon as she sees the smoking area, she peels off without a word and goes there to finish her cigarette.)