Professor: “Let’s take a character like Spock who has all these cognitive abilities but no desires or passions—”

Student #1: “But he does have desires! He’s half human.”

Professor: “Okay. Maybe that’s a bad example, then.”

Student #2: “We could use Data instead.”

Professor: “… Who?”

(I am talking to my biodiversity and adaptations professor.)

Me: “There are a few species of plants that only flower for one day. What is the evolutionary advantage of that?”

Professor: “… I’m not a good botanist.”

Me: “But you’re my professor for evolutionary adaptations of plants.”

Professor: “Yeah.” *walks away*

(I’m in my seventh grade earth science class. We are discussing volcanic eruptions. My class tends to freak out.)

Student #1: “Wait, what would we do if all the volcanoes erupted?”

Teacher: “Well, first of all—”

Student #2: “Oh, my GOD! We could all live underground because all the magma would be above ground!”

Me: “Excuse me, but how did I get question 20 wrong?

Teacher: “How else? You put the wrong answer.”

Me: “But the question was an opinion question. How can you say my opinion was wrong?”

Teacher: “All right. I guess I’ll change it THIS time.”

(My teacher is waiting for something to load. The ‘spinning wheel of death’ comes on the screen and breaks in two.)

Teacher: “Uh… Did that just break?”

Students: “How?”

Teacher: “I have no idea…”