(In English class, we are trying to write short stories.)

Friend #1: “Oh, f**k!”

(Our teacher slams his hands onto the table and almost yells in a very stern voice.)

Teacher: “What was that!?”

Friend #1: “Uh…”

(Everyone around is a little confused, since our teacher is usually very light-hearted and not serious at all.)

Teacher: “Did you just use—”

Friend #1: “Sorry, it just slipped!”

Teacher: “—THE ‘O-WORD?'”

Friend #1: “…excuse me?”

Teacher: “I’ll have you know, we don’t use the ‘O-word’ in this class.”

(Still keeping a straight face, the teacher resumes his rounds of the class.)

Friend #2: “Oh, I guess I’ll have to erase a lot of my story, then.”

(Our teacher immediately glared at him for having spoken the unspeakable again. His lessons were always a blast!)

(It is Valentine’s Day during my senior year of high school. Every year students are able to send out balloons and other gifts through the school bookstore to their significant others. I’m in my Gothic literature class and in quite a bad mood. With very few friends and a boyfriend who doesn’t believe I care about such gestures, I glower in the back of the class every time one of these gifts arrive. After class ends, I’m eager to leave, as it is the last one of the day for me.)

Teacher: “Wait a second, [My Name]. I need to speak with you.”

(I wait by her desk without a word, impatient and irritated, as the rest of the students file out.)

Teacher: “Here.”

Me: *stares as she hands me a plastic, black rose*

Teacher: “You don’t seem to be having the greatest day, and I know you like black, so here you go!”

Me: “I… thank you! I love black roses! They always remind me of a favorite author.”

Teacher: *laughs* “I’m glad you like it. I hope your day gets better.”

(My day did get better. And almost ten years later, I still have the rose!)

This story is part of our Valentine’s Day 2023 roundup!

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(The teacher is trying to simplify the dress code for a group of girls who don’t seem to get the concept.)

Teacher: “No cleavage. No midriff. No a**. No a**-crack, more specifically.”

(My teacher has a funny, and sometimes odd, sense of humour. Everyone loves her. It is just after we have returned from lunch break and are about to start English. Someone knocks on the classroom door.)

Teacher: “Come in if you’re good looking.”

(We hear the voice of our headmaster and start giggling.)
Headmaster: “Aw, man! Now I can’t come in. Miss [Teacher], can you make an exception for me? Pretty pleeeease?”

Teacher: *fake dramatic sigh* “Oh, I guess. [Student], would you please open the door for Mr. [Headmaster]?”

Headmaster: “Yay! I’m in!” *skips into the room* “Good afternoon, everyone!”

(We’re giggling too much to respond. Our headmaster finishes talking to our teacher then proceeds to skip from the room while singing. He was the most-liked headmaster the school ever had!)

(Our principal has always been a quiet and polite man who has very little to do with students from day to day. It’s his last year with us before he retires. It is the day after ‘muck-up-day,’ a day where the graduating students play little pranks on each other and usually vandalise the school in playful and easy to clean up ways. This year they weren’t any worse than the previous years but we have an unexpected end of day assembly.)

Principal: “You may be wondering why you are all here. As you know this is my last year at the school. I have seen many, many classes of graduating classes and I have to say I have never been more disappointed in my entire time teaching. Your behaviour yesterday was completely unacceptable. It reflected poorly on yourselves and on the school itself…”

(He continues ranting on like this for a good five minutes, his voice getting louder and louder. This is a man who has never raised his voice before in front of the whole school in his life.)

Principal: “…in conclusion I have to say that I am extremely disappointed in the Year 12s this year. The only course of action left to me is to cancel the Year 12 graduation ceremony and ball!”

(All the Year 12s cry out in protest but he ignores them.)

Principal: “Now, your head boy and girl have something to say to you.”

(He walks off and sits down leaving his notes on the pedestal. The head boy, a little shaken and nervous, walks up and looks down at the note.)

Head Boy: “All it says here is ‘April Fools.'”

This story is part of the April Fool’s Day roundup!

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