Happy Wife, Happy Life Lessons

| MA, USA | Learning | May 27, 2013

(The students have just finished listening to a story about two children fighting, and are writing a response to what they would do if they got into a fight with a friend. In the story, the fight took place between a girl and a boy. The student in this interaction is a boy.)

Me: “So, [student], what would you do?”

Student: “She’s the girl, so I would just agree with whatever she said.”

(I had to walk away because I was laughing so hard. This young man will make an excellent husband someday!)

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School’s Out

| Learning | May 27, 2013


Well, That Was F.U.N.

| FL, USA | Learning | May 26, 2013

(I’m working as a graduate TA at a local high school. The teacher I’m assigned to conducts an independent study class two periods a day. During those classes, the students work on projects of their own choice individually or in small groups. Usually those classes are pretty quiet, but today, while the teacher is out…)

Student #1: *whistles the first line of the ‘Sponge Bob Square Pants’ theme song*

Student #2: “Sponge Bob Square Pants!”

Student #1: “Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!”

Student #2: “Sponge Bob Square Pants!”

Students #1 and #2: “If nautical nonsense be something ya wish…”

Half The Class: “Sponge Bob Square Pants!”

Students #1 and #2: “Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!”

Entire Class: “Sponge Bob Square Pants!”

(The teacher rips the door open and bursts in.)

Teacher: “What the h*** is going on here?!”

Student #1: “Ready?”

Entire Class: “Sponge Bob Square Pants! Sponge Bob Square Pants! Sponge Bob Square Pants!”

Entire Class and Teacher: “Sponge Bob… Square PAAAAAAANTS!”

Student #1: “Ah, har ha har har…”

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She Needs Her Brain Scanned

, | IL, USA | Learning | May 26, 2013

(I’m head technician at the call center for the campus IT department and receive a call from one of the program directors at an off-campus location.)

Me: “IT, how may I assist you?”

Program Director: “This new computer they sent me is broken! It won’t take my document!”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do, but you’re going to have to tell me a little more. First, what do you mean by ‘it won’t take’ your document?”

Program Director: “I have all these correspondences from all these people, and I’m supposed to put them on the computer. It won’t take them.”

Me: “Are you trying to type them in to a word processing program? Or are you wanting to scan them in using some kind of scanner device?”

Program Director: “DON’T GET TECHNICAL WITH ME! I’m an educated person,; I have TWO DOCTORATES, SO DON’T YOU DARE TALK DOWN TO ME!”

Me: “I’m not talking down to you; I assure you. If you don’t understand the terms I just used, I can define them for you and we can try to get you back on track here. Do you know what a word processing program is? Or a flat-bed scanner?”

Program Director: “There you go again, belittling me! I demand to speak to your supervisor!”

Me “Ma’am, you can speak to my supervisor, right after we fix this issue. I have no problem at all transferring you to the supervisor, but right now, I’d really like to just fix whatever the problem you are having, and then you can speak to the boss. Would that be alright with you? Fix the issue first, and then speak to the supervisor?”

Program Director: “Well, okay, but this had better not take much longer!”

Me: “I’ll go as fast as I can. Please tell me exactly how you are attempting to get the documents into the computer, one step at a time, if you would?”

Program Director: “Step by step? This is stupid, but okay, here goes. First, I pick up one of the letters that need to be in the computer. Got that?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Got it. Then what do you do with it?”

Program Director: “I hold it up in front of the big screen thing, but NOTHING HAPPENS. And so WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? I need to get going on this,; it is very important.”

Me: “Just one more question, I think, should do it. By ‘the big screen thing,’ do you by any chance mean the white box that kind of looks like a television, and has [brand name] on the front of it?”

Program Director: “Yes. That’s it exactly.”

(Turns out she was holding papers up to the monitor, and expecting the computer to be able to read them in, as if it was an eyeball or something. When she found out that she would have to type all these documents in to a word processing document, she about hit the ceiling.)

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Not Ever Learning

, | Sheffield, England, UK | Learning | May 25, 2013

(I’m in the library with a course mate, looking at this very website (NotAlwaysLearning.com) having a quick break from writing my dissertation. My course mate looks over at my screen.)

Course Mate: “I find it ironic that you’re looking at a website called ‘Not Always Learning’ whilst not doing your work!”

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