(One of my students has a tendency to pick a phrase and repeat it ad-nauseum.)
Student #1: “Can you explain that again?”
Me: “Yes…” *simplified explanation*
Student #1: “Whoa, you lost me.”
Me: “Okay…” *even simpler explanation*
Student #1: “Whoa, you lost me.”
Me: “One more time…” *I give the simplest explanation I can*
Student #1: “Whoa, you lost me.”
Student #2: “Somebody get that boy a map.”
(I’m in a sculpture class and we are currently working on sculpting a head in clay based on a model that comes in.)
Professor: “Just put a plastic bag over your head and be done for today.”
Me: “WHAT?!”
(It took me a moment to realize that he was referring to our clay heads that we were working on and not our actual ones.)
Student: “Has anyone noticed that the liberal arts buildings always look like prisons? The other disciplines get pretty architecture and we get concrete boxes.”
Professor: “It’s because you all have the best ideas, so they have to keep them in a cage.”
(I am sitting chatting with an eight-year-old student at the end of the day.)
Me: “So, what are you going to have for dinner?”
Student: “Beef, chicken, french fries, macaroni and cheese, and beans.”
Me: “Wow! How are you going to eat it all?”
Student: “With a fork.”
(I’m an admin at a large university. We’ve recently switched to a new website for online learning, and despite our best efforts, professors seem to ignore every memo on the subject.)
Professor: “I can’t see any of my courses for next semester online!”
Me: “Are you looking on the new website, at [new site]?”
Professor: “Yes. I’m on there grading students right now.”
(I groan inwardly, knowing that students aren’t on the new site yet.)
Me: “That’s the old one. Please go to [new site].”
Professor: “I just told you, I’m already there!”
Me: “What does your browser show in the address bar?”
Professor: “[Old site]!”
Me: “Then you’re on the old site. You have to go to [new site] for future semesters.”
Professor: “Why wasn’t I told?!”
Me: “It’s been communicated many times through announcements on [old site].”
Professor: “Oh, I don’t read those.”
Me: “There have also been emails to all faculties about it from several different departments.”
Professor: “You can’t just assume that I pay attention to all my emails! You should have called!”
