I’ve Had Enough Of Your Bullship

(I work for an IT distributor. We coordinate everything from single-user install CDs to fully-assembled server racks and storage clusters. One of the many hats I wear is setting up shipping quotes for the sales teams when they’re entering orders. Normally this goes smoothly, especially since the number of shipments that are made on our accounts gives us really good rates, but every now and then something like this email chain happens.)

Sales: “Hey. Why is this so d*** expensive?!”

Me: *a little surprised they actually typed that out in a company email* “Actually, we got really good rates for this.”

Sales: “Are you kidding me?! This is going from Utah to Utah; it shouldn’t cost this much!”

Me: “Before this continues, I would like you to please look over the quote you sent me again; just a quick glance should show you why it’s ‘expensive.’”

Sales: “I’m looking at it right now. See?” *attaches a screenshot they took with their phone* “It’s four little things going just down the road!”

Me: “Actually, it’s four boxes that are over 100 pounds each, all oversized, going priority overnight from one corner of a fairly large state to another, plus another box of accessories. Yes, this is costing us over $200; if it were list price, that would be over $800, plus extra service fees which are waived due to the level of our account. However, if you know someone that wants to take a quarter-ton of computer hardware in a pickup — or better, a moving truck — across a 12-hour-round-trip trek, we can certainly waive the shipping cost.”

(Surprisingly, they did not waive the shipping cost. And yes, I do have to explain how shipping works to this person every time they process a “big” shipment.)