Im-possum-bly Silly

(I’m the dumb worker in this story. Our hotel abuts some woods, so we will occasionally see some small animals around the outdoor dumpsters. One such visitor has been seen frequently enough so that our overnight security guard has actually jokingly named it. I come in for my overnight shift when we have an event going on in the back, and they have hired some police officers for extra security. The officers come up to my desk for something.)

Me: “Evening! How are you guys doing tonight?”

Officer #1: “Oh, all right, I guess. It’s been quiet, mostly.”

Me: “Only mostly?”

Officer #2: “Well, we had to help one of your banquet workers who found an opossum when she was taking out the trash, so that was a new one.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh, you mean Sparkles? He’s around here a lot; I guess she doesn’t like opossums!”

(The officers give each other, and then me, a strange look.)

Officer #2: “Er… Yeah… I mean, really, we probably should have called animal control, but we managed to wrangle it out the door ourselves, so…”

Me: *realization dawning* “Wait… It was inside the hotel?!”

Officer #1: “Yeah, in one of the trash cans; when someone went to pull the bag it started moving around. Is that normal?”

Me: “Oh, my God, no! We see that opossum out by the dumpsters all the time, but not inside!“

(Thankfully they understood and laughed with me about it, but I was mortified for accidentally implying that a wild animal inside the building was a typical occurrence!)