He Was Always Going To Cancel Out Whatever You Said

(Between work, college, and an apprenticeship, I have currently worked 10 days out of 11 straight without a day off. Needless to say, I’m a bit testy, and I don’t like arguing with stupid at the best of times.)

Customer: “I want to cancel my order.”

Me: “Sure, no problem. May I ask why?”

Customer: “Your service is terrible.”

Me: “My apologies. What seems to have happened?”

Customer: “I rang this morning, and I spoke with a concierge, who transferred me to another department to deal with my query, and they fixed that. Then, I had another query, so I was transferred again, and they sorted that. And then, I thought, you know what? I’ve been transferred too much. I want to cancel! And then, lo and behold, I had to be transferred to you.”

Me: “Okay. First off, I’m sorry you feel you have had poor service, but let me get this right. You’d like to cancel because you were transferred to the departments you needed to speak to regarding your queries?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but when I ring the bank they never transfer me.”

Me: “Okay, well, we are not the bank; we are [Telecoms Company], with many more departments specifically trained to handle your queries. Everything you have described could easily be resolved online yourself to save you calling in, too. I’ll be honest with you, sir; it’s nine am on Sunday morning, the sun is out, neither of us wants to be on the phone and that is understandable, but just to confirm, I do have to ask you this and I apologise that it’s blunt, but do you want to cancel because we fixed your issues?”

Customer: “I said I want to cancel.”

Me: “You are cancelled. Have a good day.”