(My boyfriend’s older sister has been going through some personal issues and started, without any reason, to take it out on me. I mainly ignore it and try to take the high road. On Mother’s Day, I get three different rose bouquets for my boyfriend’s mother and his two sisters.)

Older Sister: “Oh, I see she gave me the red roses. What a b****. She’s clearly implying that I’m old. Wow. How rude.”

Me: “Um, I thought red was your favorite color?”

Older Sister: “It might be. Anyway, everyone knows that red roses mean old people.”

Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure they mean passionate love, but anyway, I got them because you love the color red.”

Older Sister: “Oh, you think you’re so great because you went to college!”

(My next door neighbor and I recently started classes at our local community college. Despite being about the same age and living next door for a while, we’ve never really been all that close, but, since our classes are relatively close and start at more or less the same time, we’ve decided to carpool together. I’m carless, but paying for gas; she has a used BMV her parents gave her. One day, I walk out to see my neighbor waiting in her car with the trunk open. I happen to be running a tad late, so I begin to load my stuff into the trunk. Suddenly, she starts backing up.)

Me: *shouting* “WHOA! WHOA!”

(She stops backing up. I finish loading and sit down in the front seat. She starts the car.)

Me: “I’m sorry! I thought you saw me walk out.”

Neighbor: *somewhat condescendingly* “Yeah, I can’t see anything with the trunk open like that. Also, could you please not slam the door? This is a very expensive car!”

(That was the last time we carpooled!)

(My mom, sister, and I are out to dinner. I’ve recently graduated college and my sister is in elementary school. When she was a baby, I got the occasional “Oh, is she yours?” but less so as she’s gotten older. My mom realizes she needs a refill on her drink so she heads up to the counter to get one, so it’s just me and my sister left at the table. Note: my sister is wearing the uniform for a local Christian school.)

Sister: “[My Name], can we get ice cream, too?”

Me: “You gotta ask Mom when she comes back. That’s not my call.”

Sister: “Okay.” *goes back to her dinner*

(I notice that two teenage girls in long denim skirts and baggy t-shirts are watching us. I don’t think much of it until one approaches my sister.)

Girl: “Hi, would you like some stickers?”

Sister: *looks at me* “Sis, can I have some?”

Me: “Sure.”

(My sister accepts what looks like a page of smiley face stickers. The girls go back to their table and I go back to my meal, until…)

Sister: *loudly* “Hey, these aren’t stickers!! They don’t come off the paper!”

(My mom comes back to the table.)

Mom: “And I’m back.” *to my sister* “What’ve you got there?”

Sister: “Mommy, they gave me stickers but they don’t come off the paper!”

Mom: *examines the paper* “This is a witnessing tract. Where did you get this?”

Sister: “From over there.” *points at the teenage girls at the next table, who are avoiding eye contact*

(I look at the girls and raise an eyebrow. They quickly retreat to another table, still within earshot, where they join a group of five or so other teenage girls dressed in denim skirts and baggy shirts and a man in a suit, who looks to be lecturing them. Being the sassy person I am, I can’t resist a parting shot…)

Me: *loudly* “You’d think they’d notice that she’s wearing a [local Christian school] uniform!”

(The man and his denim-skirted charges quickly exited the restaurant.)

(In high school, I participate in the JROTC program. During football season, we are used as parking lot guides. We are always instructed to fill up certain areas first before using overflow areas. Unfortunately, not everyone is always so accommodating.)

Me: *waves incoming car to go to directed parking lot*

Driver: *ignores me, slams on accelerator, narrowly avoids hitting me, to go park in overflow area*

Me: *following car to talk to people* “Sir? You can’t park there. You need to park further down; we don’t use this area unless the main lot gets filled.”

Driver: “Shut up, girly! I’ll park where ever the h*** I want!”

(This happens about five times, and I can’t do anything since I am only a high school student and they have cars that could run me over. After the last such incident, I’m back at my place, when a policeman on a motorcycle pulls up.)

Policeman: “Hiya there! I’m just on patrol tonight and thought I’d check and see how things are going. Any problems tonight?”

Me: *having a light-bulb moment* “Actually, sir…”

(Once I explained it to him, he very kindly stationed himself square in the way of the small lane that led to the overflow lot. After that, anytime a car drove up and tried to ignore me, he simply pointed, and they followed his lead. He stayed there until the first quarter, which is how long we stood directing traffic. As for the drivers who didn’t listen to me, he gave them tickets!)

(A brief snippet of conversation from my bible study group:)

Leader: “So how is the proper way for us to pray?”

Girl: “You do the exact opposite of what Whoopi Goldberg did in Sister Act.”