Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

Customer: “Where is the pasta?”

Me: “I’ll show you… it’s this way.”

(He follows me to the correct aisle. As we approach, I see another girl in the aisle.)

Customer: “S***, that’s my ex! Quick, pretend you’re my new girl!”

Me: *surprised* “Wha—”

(The customer grabs me, puts his arm round me, and practically drags me over to the girl.)

Customer: *to ex* “Yea, I got a new girl. I’m over you.”

Ex: “Um, okay? Great.” *walks away shaking her head*

Customer: *to me* “So, since you’re my girl, do I get to use your staff discount now?”