Even The Dolphins Would Get It Quicker

(I work as a ticket-taker at my city’s zoo. Tickets to the dolphin show are free as long as you purchase general admission tickets or have a season pass. We just give out physical tickets to control how many people attend each show. A man and his two children approach my booth, and the man is clearly aggravated.)

Guest: “We lost track of time and missed the dolphin show. I need a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry you missed the show, but the tickets were actually free, so I can’t give you a refund. There’s another show in half an hour if you’d like three tickets for that, instead.”

Guest: “Wow, are you f****** kidding me? I just said I need a refund, and now you’re trying to get more money out of me? Lady, I don’t want more tickets. I want my money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as I said, the tickets to the dolphin show are included in your admission fee. I can’t give you a refund for that.”

Guest: “Well, then just give me a refund for that!”

Me: “For what?”

Guest: “For my f****** general admission!”

Me: “Sir, I really can’t do that, either. “

Guest: “This place is a rip-off!”

(He stormed off with his kids, both of them crying that they weren’t ready to leave and that they wanted to see the dolphin show.)